Bernini, escape

What have I done to deserve this?

 
Fighter
Christina Aguilera

When I, thought I knew you
Thinking, that you were true
I guess I, I couldn't trust
'Cause your bluff time is up
'Cause I've had enough
You were there by my side
Always down for the ride
But your joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out of shame, mmhmm

After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that I hold resentment for you
But, uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you

'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Oh, ohh

Never, saw it coming
All of your backstabbing
Just so, you could cash in
On a good thing before I realized your game
I heard you're going around
Playing the victim now
But don't even begin
Feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave, uh huh

After all of the fights and the lies
Yes you wanted to harm me but that won't work anymore
Uh, no more, oh no, it's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down
So I wanna say thank you

'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

And no, it doesn't have anything to do with my as good as it gets-boyfriend.
Girls are bitchy.
I don't know what I have done to deserve only a quantum of this. So, leave me alone. It's not MY problem.

Sorry for the ranting. I just need to get that off my soul.

Bernini, escape

(no subject)

Oooooh, my goodness.
It hurts. Actually and physically. I didn't realize that it comes with the being happy-thing if the subject of your happiness is spatially and communications-wise removed from you.
As a scientist, it's interesting to notice. As a foolish girl or women in - let's say - a state of having fallen head over heels for someone, it simply hurts and the pain won't go away on demand. Perhaps, a certain lack of sleep doesn't help, but still: How can missing someone lead to physical, no, not torture, but a squeezing of the heart which is similar to having run so long that your lungs are close to exploding. It's not even love sickness, since we are (still) together, as far as I know happily, and when I know that he misses me, too. What the hell?
Grr. Go away. Perhaps, it would help if my experiments were running the way I would like them to. So far, they are still reluctant.
Whatever, life goes on, presentations need to be held, measurements to be carried out, clothes to be cleaned and boyfriends will visit on the weekend. Yay for that! :)
Thinking me

Nicknames

Besides, I 'acquired' quite a bunch of new nicknames
  • Hexe (witch)
  • Prima Ballerina
  • Vamp (how did I get THAT one?)
  • Zicke (<-- thanks a lot for that)
  • Minivampir
  • Fashionkatastrophe
  • Miss E (Yes, the e does stand for 'evil')
  • Evil Rehaugen (evil bambi eyes)
  • Easy Geasy (will please nobody ever dare to call me this)
All in the course of 2 weeks. What a difference a fortnight made...

P.S.: Need to remember the 28th of June 2008 :-)
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Heinz Erhardt

Happy

... endings are boring since they are at an end.
I prefer a start that happens somehow, a good present and a promising future. :)
As long as this lasts, I don't mind the rain (good it's not that hot anymore) and stress at work. In the whole, I can't complain.
Shiny, happy people

Dream Catch me

Newton Faulkner

Every time I close my eyes
It’s you and I know now
Who I am

Yea yea yea and I know now

There’s a place I go
When I’m alone
Do anything I want
Be anyone I wanna be
But it is us I see
And I cannot believe I’m fallin
That’s where I’m goin
Where are you goin
Hold it close won’t let this go

Dream catch me, yea
Dream catch me when I fall
Or else I won’t come back at all

You do so much
That you don’t know
It’s true
And I know now
Who I am

And I know now
There’s a place I go
When I’m alone
Do anything I want
Be anyone I wanna be
But it is us I see
And I cannot believe I’m fallin
That’s where I’m goin
Where are you goin
Hold it close won’t let this go

Dream catch me, yea
Dream catch me when I fall
Or else I won’t come back at all

See you as a mountain
A fountain of God
See you as as a descant soul
in the setting sun
You as the sound

I’m young
There’s a place I go
When I’m alone
Do anything I want
Be anyone I wanna be
But it is us I see
And I cannot believe I’m fallin
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Thinking me

(no subject)

I am nervous, actually nervous.
Besides spending much too much time on facebook anyway, I am now checking it every five minutes since I have just written a message to somebody I have met at the bus stop. He also lives in my apartment house two floors above me. He seems to be nice and had already invited me into his and his friend's apartment - but I did not have time. Ugh.
Otherwise, I am still very busy at work and still fighting procrastination.
Is anybody out there able to tell me how I could restrict my access to facebook during working hours?
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Yoga

Back in black...

... but only because it sounds good. On the contrary: I have been told numerously that I look "like blooming life". I do hope so! If 6 weeks of more or less holidays do not relax me, I would have done something wrong.
However, it's good to be back in Switzerland in my own appartment with my own bed, my own bathroom and my own kitchen. Sharing with my flatmates is so much better than with numerous and changing inhabitants of multiple hostels. No more worries about where to leave my notebook or having to carry it with me all day, no more labelling of food in the fridge and then find it gone anyway.
Ok, work, but that's alright as well. Even welcome. i want to get something done.
So back to it :)
Good, bad

Pre-Christmas Stress

1st thing: I DO love Christmas and "Advent" (is there an english word for the time before Christmas?), because Christmas at home is always full of family gatherings and relaxation and simply fantastic. However, every year since I first went to university, the time before the actual celebration is really stressful. This year as well, since I do not only have to prepare a poster for the conference in January, but also plan my travels in the US. I am so excited! I have never been there and am really curious how this will turn out.
Bernini, escape

Today

it needs to be german.

Der Einsame

Einsam irr ich durch die Gassen,
durch den Regen, durch die Nacht.
Warum hast du mich verlassen,
warum hast du das gemacht?
Nichts bleibt mir, als mich zu grämen!
Gestern sprang ich in den Bach,
um das Leben mir zu nehmen;
doch der Bach war viel zu flach.

Einsam irr ich durch den Regen,
und ganz feucht ist mein Gesicht
nicht allein des Regens wegen,
nein, davon alleine nicht.
Wo bleibt der Tod in schwarzem Kleide?
Wo bleibt der Tod und tötet mich?
Oder besser noch: uns beide?
Oder besser: erst mal dich?

Heinz Erhardt, german comedian
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